Wait, Who Are You Again?

I STILL EXIST!......... It has been over a year since I last wrote a blog post, which is horrifically bad, and for that i apologize! 

I started this blog when i was 18, with the idea that it would be a here and there kind of thing, where I post when I've got something interesting to say. Two, nearly three years on and it turns out that hasn't really been working out for me. I keep forgetting then remembering this exists and posting then forgetting and not really keeping up to date with this. 

Recently, what with doing my dissertation, I've started to vlog on YouTube and have really been trying to create a brand for myself across social media platforms. In my last post here, I talked about not knowing what direction I wanted to take after university. Well good news folks! I kind of think I want to go into social media management and public relations professionally. eeeep! I don't know if any of you will have noticed, but I've had a bit of a re-vamp, thanks to my lovely flatmate Lauren (there was a lot of frustration, YouTube banners are harder to make than they look!) but now all of my social media's have the same look, which makes me insanely happy. 

I feel like you need a little update on my life, so here goes! 

I'm now in my third year of university, don't even ask me where the time has gone! I've only got about four months left then I'm done. Capiche. It makes me want to do a little wee of scary excitedness. That is now a thing. 

I now live with four other girls, still in student halls. Because you know, I basically just want to pretend to be a fresher whilst I still can. I absolutely love my living situation at the moment. This is a massive thing for me, as my first year of university was, to be honest, a bit naff living wise. I didn't live with the nicest of people, and felt very unsafe a lot of the time. Second year got a bit better, but I still spent the majority of my time alone, in my room. making no noise.......and pretending I don't exist (10 points if you get the reference). The girls I live with have always been around, I lived with Sian first year, and I know Jessie from home and she lived with Kat and Loz first year, opposite me and Sian. Second year people just kind of went off and did their own thing, It took us a while to all come together basically. Our flat is just my favourite thing and I never ever want it to end. We keep bringing up the fact that we have to actually leave this flat, and then saying 'No no, Lets not talk about it!' 

(L-R) Kat, Me, Sian, Loz and Jessie

I dont know if I've ever mentioned it on here, but I still work at Deichmann Shoes. I've been there for a year and five months now (what? I mean, I'm totally not counting or anything). I'm not going to lie, it's not the best job in the world. Its retail. So basically it can be a nightmare the majority of the time. I just keep telling myself 'I'm working here to get out of here'. Its basically so I can fund myself to get through uni living. 

I don't really have a great deal more to say! life is good, finally. As much as I complain, (Prince Charming has got a bit lost I think) This has to be the best year of uni so far. I cannot wait for those precious few weeks at the end of uni, when we still have halls to live in, and spend our days lying on the grass in Bute park or hoping on the train on a little adventure. Its going to be great!

Toodleoo lovelies! 

Little Fish, Big Pond.

hold your horses, I am writing a blog post! don't all rush to read at once now ;) 

I am a busy gal, having started my second year at uni. (Prepare for the cliché of the century)....it feels like yesterday that I was doing a little do do worrying about starting uni. Here I now am, half way through my second year and to be honest, I'm feeling overwhelmed. Big time. 

I am going to put it out there, I have no idea what I want to be when I grow up, which is slightly worrying as its coming round a lot faster than I expected and prepared for. I know I want to work in the media, which makes my Media Culture and Journalism course rather handy. But aside from that I'm a little lost.

hence the title. I am definitely a little fish in a rather big shark infested pond. 

The industry I plan to go into is growing faster than ever, and its getting tougher and tougher to be 'in'. Help!
I will admit, I am definitely to blame for my lack of direction, as I've always had the attitude of 'I'll take what I can get'. Which is fine, but it means that I spend a lot of time worrying about where I'm going to end up and what I'm going to end up doing. Who knows! (definitely not me clearly!)

So the point I'm really trying to make with this is that I think it is ok to go with the flow, but at some point decisions are going to have to be made, and no one else can make them for you! 

Romance is Dead.

 WARNING: rambly, ranty, notquitesurewhereimgoingwiththis post ahead! I just thought this would be a good topic to discuss seen as I have rather strong opinions on the matter!

Photo from tumblr

Romance. The highly sought after mystery that every female (and male? pffft don't be stupid Sophie) Desires. 

Yet, its well known that in this day and age romance is dead. This saddens me greatly, as I'm the type of girl who expects life to be pretty similar to a Disney princess movie and am currently (and have been for the past.....19 years) waiting for Mr prince charming to appear. If your reading this charming honey, now would be a brilliant time, just saying! People generally tend to laugh at me when I inform them of this but to me, its a perfectly reasonable notion! 

I long to live in the days where males and females 'courted' each other and walked round gardens in beautiful fancy dresses, and he proposed to you after two weeks. It just sounds so romantic! Nowadays it consists of a trip to the cinema where you sit and watch a film in silence for three hours...I don't get it. How can you get to know someone if you sit in silence?! I've been on cinema dates, and not one of them has gone very well at all! (think awkward, as we only had about 5 minutes to actually talk and say hi etc before we had to sit next to each other awkwardly. yeah. awkward) so the thought of someone asking me to go now makes me run a mile or so! 

I'm also definitely not into the whole idea of 'going out with someone just to say I have a boyfriend', yet another thing that baffles me. I definitely don't want to pretend to like someone, I'm quite happy to admit id rather stay in with a cup of tea and a good book. These people who go in and out and in and out (cheeky!) of relationships on Facebook, WHY. just stop! it doesn't make you look good at all, in fact its rather annoying!

so as you can tell, overall I'm a typical hopeless romantic and plan on staying that way (call me naive) until prince charming arrives. Any day now! 

The Perks Of Being A Singleton

Yes, it may (or most probably wont) surprise you to know that I'm single. A single pringle. A free agent. Available. Between relationships. However you want to put it, and I shan't lie, I've never had a 'proper' relationship. By this I mean I haven't been in a relationship since those 13 year old, lasting two weeks, never really speak to each other relationships. 

Yes I will admit I get those moments, as every girl does, where I think 'I just want someone to cuddle and eat crap and watch films and be stupid and do nothing in particular with' 

But then I think of all the positives of beings single. Ok so there aren't many, but they are pretty major for me. And are things I do not want to compromise on for any male. 

1. Freedom - This is a biggie for me. I am the type of person who cant stand being told what to do. I like doing what I want, when I want. This probably stems from having protective parents (I'm not complaining about that) and now that I've gone to university I've gotten used to doing things on my terms. I don't want some man swanning in and bossing me about thank you very much. not now I've just gained freedom. 

2.Hairy Legs - yep. Admit it. when you're single your legs grow a lovely winter coat.....all year round. Well with no one to impress, what's the point. you can be less high maintenance with your body when you're single. You can have days where you sit with no make-up and eat a cake or two....or 5. And that's fine. And its just the way I like things. 

3. Pointless Money Wasting Days - by this I mainly mean Valentines Day. to quote Miranda 'I don't know who Saint Valentines was but I hope he died single and surrounded by couples'. I couldn't have said it better myself. Yes, when the day rolls round I do get a bit depressed and think 'oh I wish someone would by me pointless cards and chocolate and materialistic things to show me how much they love me' but then I think 'meh, at least I don't have to spend stupid amounts of money I don't have on such pointless things and I can go and buy myself a pair of beautiful new shoes instead' now whose being materialistic! 

4. Starfishing - I do love my bed. Possibly more than I should. And the thought of sharing it with another human being just.....nu-uh. I can have the Duvet all to myself and sausage roll and foot fold to my hearts content (points for my duvet terms). Another plus to this is not having someone witness me waking up looking like a dogs arse. I wouldn't wish it on anyone!

I'm pretty sure I could ramble on for quite a while longer on this topic, but I will refrain as I'm sure you're probably thinking 'there is a possibility this girl could be insane' 

But remember. There are positives to being single, you just have to look at it with a 'Miss Independant' P.O.V

McFly - Memory Lane Tour. 10th May 2013

So last week me and a friend went to see McFly. Now we have been long term fans. By this I mean we have loved them since were about 10 years old. So when they announced that they were doing a Memory lane tour, of course we jumped at the chance! another surprise happened to be one of the support acts, whom we didn't know about. James Bourne from busted?!  I can now say I've seen a third of Busted YES. Although his own songs didn't go down too well, he soon whipped out the old Busted tunes and we were away, singing along to Year 3000 and so on!

Some photo's I took. I know they're awful but I didn't take my camera, only my poopy Iphone! 

Angharad and I

James Bourne?! *erhmahgerd

The 'not so impressive' Vamps who were about 12. 

alright there Danny!

The set was amazing

dont even ask! 

We had a lovely time and hopefully in 10 years time we will be going to see them again!

wait....I'VE ALMOST FINISHED MY FIRST YEAR OF UNI?!

(firstly can I just say, two blog posts in one day?! 10 blogger points to me)

Yep. You read it right! this year has completely and utterly flown by. Its mad to think that in a weeks time I will have started my summer holiday. four months of absolute BLISS.

But first I have to tackle two exams. Now we all know from my previous posts how much I just despise exams. I will try not to go off on a rant like I did last time but I'm not promising anything.

exaaaaaaaaaaaams *insert ridiculous image of me rolling around on the floor crying* Why must they exist!

on a more positive note, for our first year of uni we only need 40% overall to pass....and the first year doesn't count towards the second two. so really.....we only need to get 40% instead of 100 which is GREAT. and seen as each module is split into different assessments  I have come to the conclusion that I only need to get 28% and 30% in these two exams. Which definitely makes me feel a lot better about them!
it takes away some of the pressure.

One of the exams is split into two Halves. Part A and part B.
Part A consists of memorising four chapters of a giant textbook and summarising them. In an hour. Now to me, that is not an exam created to test my ability in Media Theory. That is an exam to test how much of a textbook I can remember.
Now if you know me you will be aware that  manage to forget things within the space of five minutes, so this seems like an impossible task for me to be able to do. And if I do manage to do it, it will be a miracle.

But hey, there's always resits?

I CANT WAIT FOR SUMMER.

The Burden of My Life. Eczema

Well hello there strangers! I will admit.....I am awful at blogging. I really am!
but here I am, writing again. I will also admit (lots of admitting going on here!) that I'm supposed to be revising right now for my two Uni exams. I'm going to write another post on this, so I shan't go off on a tangent now.

I've been meaning to write this post ever since I started this Blog way back last year but I've never really had the guts/time/inspiration to sit down and actually do it, but seen as I'm in top procrastination mode, I will do anything to not revise!

So I guess I should start at the beginning! (does everyone else sing the song when someone says that?!)

When I was born, I guess you could say I was completely fine. It was all lovely and great and Mama and Papa R and Brother L took me home and life was dandy. After a few weeks, six to be precise, I was diagnosed with Eczema. Now you guys reading this may think 'oh yeah! I've had eczema, here and there' well I had and still to this day have it everywhere. All over my body. YAY.

I suffer with severe Eczema, and let me tell you, its...to think of a better word....poopy.
Eczema runs in my family, with a few members of  Mama R's family suffering with it, so it was kind of inevitable that it would carry on making a very unwelcome appearance through generations. My brother also suffers with it so I didn't really have the best chance of avoiding it, as much as I would have liked to.

I spent my younger years being smothered and rubbed and bandaged and mittened and moisturised and bathed and scrubbed and soothed by my parents and have had countless different types of creams and ointments and tablets and whatnot. but now I've just turned 19 and yep. its still here. On one of my many regular hospital trips when i was younger (they've kind of just left me to deal with it now) I was told that 'eczema tends to disappear every 7 years'. So I anticipated my seventh birthday, filled with hope, with some idea that I was going to wake up and have normal skin. In hindsight of course now I realize that that is never going to happen, but as I approached my 14th birthday I couldn't help but hope slightly that it might just disappear overnight. I've now come to realise that nope, I'm pretty much stuck with 'funny' skin for the rest of my life! 

I guess you could say I'm used to having it, and the majority of the time it doesn't really bother me, simply because I don't know any different. I cant remember those 6 weeks I spent my life without eczema, so to me its the norm. But sometimes, as with any medical condition, it just gets me down. Having to constantly worry whether I've remembered to bring my cream with me everywhere I go and have to put it on in front of people (especially new people) I'm just not the greatest fan of having to do that. and then if I forget my cream I have to deal with having uncomfortable dry tight skin which ruins my outing anyway. It also makes me very self conscious  of course with people I know and are comfortable around its not an issue, but when it comes to new people I always feel like they are focusing on 'what's wrong with her skin' rather than me and my personality. I've encountered a fair few nasty people along the way who we'rent the most polite people but it seems as I get older and obviously people mature, its more a case of people wanting to know about it rather than laughing at it. which is a good thing.

Doctors always tell me that I will have 'triggers' things that send my skin crazy. and when I say crazy I mean CRAZY. when I get a flare up it feels like the hardest thing in the world is to not itch and scratch. which makes it worse, and I'm just stuck in this endless cycle of convincing myself it doesn't itch then itching over and over and over. But the thing is, up until now I really had no idea what my 'triggers' were. It just seemed to happen randomly if I got too hot or something. Now I'm starting to realize that stress plays a big role in my flare ups. I've had a difficult time lately (get your violins out!) which I wont go into detail about, but I've also realized my skin has been AWFUL, flaring up every other day. I wont lie, its made me feel disgusting and down and I haven't wanted to go out and enjoy life because I think people will be staring at my skin. don't get me wrong I know life could be a lot worse and I could have a much worse condition, but we all get absorbed into our own problems and sometimes don't appreciate how good we've really got it.

 but boy, is my skin a pain in the bottom!


on that note I think I better go and put some cream on ;) and start revising. oh the joys of examinations.
But if any of you reading this suffer with eczema.....I FEEL YA PAIN BRO.